[it's a nice feeling, having jack deliberately reach out and touch him. not even with specific intent; just, it seems, for the sake of doing it, that contact. not much at all, and yet far too much to be ignored. vane could never say later that he didn't notice it happening, just as jack could hardly argue he hadn't meant to do it.
he takes one more pull, and then offers jack the cigarette.]
Can't seem to recall it well enough - [jack's retelling, that is] - was he on the ship with you?
[ He does it without thinking. It feels a hell of a lot better than not touching him does. They've been separated for so long that Jack doesn't consider whether it might come across as too needy or soft, in fact, it's not a concern he's had for months, now. ]
He wasn't. By the time we set sail, it was good and over between us.
[ He doesn't remember because Jack hadn't mentioned anyone, but Anne, John, and Carver. It sounds suspiciously like he's fishing for something, but he doesn't call it out. He's happy to tell him whatever he wants to know about the time he lost.
Jack takes the last drag, and stubs it out in an ashtray on the bedside table that's seen some use. Hickey was a smoker, at least. ]
Offered him a spot. Any experience at all was welcome, half the crew had never been at sea before at all. But, he was never an enthusiastic sailor to begin with.
[ And even in a professional capacity, he doubts Hickey had any interest in seeing he and John together. ]
[he's not fishing for anything more than what he got, which is the answer to the question he asked and also to hear jack's voice besides. he likes listening to jack when he's talking quietly, enjoying the breathy, soft quality of his voice at lower tones for longer than he admitted it to himself. now he's admitting it to himself.
plus, his hands are free. now he can run his fingers slowly across the shape of different marks, here and there, some already going purple. admiring his work, as it were.]
Who else was with you?
[slightly more of a practical question this time; if he happens to encounter them about the city, he'd like to be aware of it.]
Anne, John, Billy, obviously. Told you about Carver. The Rhatigans. Ducky...she's gone now.
[ She was the first person here who he deemed worth straying from Anne for, and the last time he saw her, they were washed up on the beach. He tries to answer the question instead of thinking too hard. ]
That he-witch, his name's Nate Hawthorne. Think you'd like him. He brought some of his colleagues along. Chris Sonom, a magic healer. A kid named Parker we almost lost, washed up on the beach a week after the rest of us.
[ He sits up, suddenly, on his elbows, grinning like he's holding back laughter. ]
Oh, you'll love this. There was some absolute jester walking around declaring himself Edward Teach. He fucking wasn't, most elaborate baffoonery I've ever seen, though.
[ It had prompted a brief existential crisis, at the time, but now, he can laugh at it. ]
He was insistent, too. And said he and I had at one point been lovers. Man was disturbed.
[the names are committed dutifully to memory, in succession; it's not necessarily a free pass into his good graces, but if they've offered jack respect then it's enough of a reason to be slightly less of an asshole upon first meeting. in theory. either way, sometimes it's just good to be aware.
then jack mentions teach. vane receives the information at first with a look torn between amusement and scorn - but the idea of a world in which jack rackham and edward teach were lovers makes him laugh outright, enough to leave his shoulders shaking when he tries to rein it in. holy shit.]
The fucking balls on that idea - [incredible. he shifts a little, pushing himself up over jack's stomach just so he can roll sideways and settle his head back on the other pirate like a pillow.] He still here?
[ There were others. A handful of which are gone now, and others simply deckhands he never got the chance to really know, but the memory of "Edward Teach" has his face to split with a sniggering grin to pay them any mind. ]
Not just that, but didn't know who Anne was. Barely knew you. Making shit up as he went along, I think, but he had people going.
[ Of course, it was all deeply disturbing to hear, but now that he's fucked off, Jack can postpone that crisis for another time. ]
Nah, he's gone. You'd have killed him on sight, probably. Worst imposter I've ever seen.
[jack's certainly not wrong; he's a little disappointed that he missed the opportunity, if only to see it for himself and then be able to say he did something about it. he's still chuckling, thinking about it, even as his thoughts tilt more toward the teach they knew than any potential impostors.]
He'd have been... disgusted. Killed the bastard himself.
[their teach, that is. the one who never understood what charles vane saw in jack rackham; the man who called him a lion long before daphne chose it as a pet name. but thinking about him now is an inevitable reminder of regret. his amusement fades, until he's quiet again.
that might have been it. he could have stayed silent, gone moody, or put it out of his mind altogether. or... he could tell jack about it. seems equally inevitable that he would, sooner or later, if a reason to do so happened to come up between them. but he's here, and jack's here, and he's thinking about it. so... why overthink it?]
[ Unlike Charles and Anne, it's been many years since Jack's seen any version of Teach but the strange imposter, and last time he did, they weren't exactly friendly. He knows from Anne that somehow, the two of them ended up sailing together, but he never pried into the details, decided he didn't need them after the bomb of Charles' death had been dropped. Being in Duplicity, he's learned enough about his life after he'll remember it without the gory details.
Just like him, of course, to have exactly what he wants, a reputation that will last centuries, and find a way to be dissatisfied. ]
[it wouldn't stop him, either way. though he took teach's advice more seriously than anyone else's before jack came along, in the end he always made his own choices. for better or worse. he shakes his head a little against jack's hip.]
I betrayed him again. [just a murmur. matter-of-fact, if not for the softness of it, betraying regret.] In front of his men, and Flint's. If he'd have shot me dead on the spot, I wouldn't have blamed him - but I knew he wouldn't.
[ His men and Flint's? As much as Jack would love to get the juicy details about that, he bites his tongue, brushing his fingers against the side of the other man's neck. ]
He'll forgive you. After you're gone, he'll come back to fight them with Anne and I.
[ Jack can't give him any more detail than that, besides the gruesome way that Teach met his end because of it. He bites his tongue on that, too. ]
[his brow furrows slightly, but for a minute that's all, just the trace of a frown as he stares at nothing and his thoughts waver between the look of shock and betrayal on teach's face at ocracoke beach, and the tingles left behind by jack's fingers on his neck.
forgiveness means nothing, realistically, to a dead man. but he's not a dead man here - not in any way that matters, even though there's no going back, he and teach will never see each other again. he's alive enough to be experiencing this moment, and in this moment, it's nice to hear it. soothes something to a dull ache instead of a sharp one.]
He wanted me to leave with him. [it feels weird to tell jack as much, stepping across the uneven ground between their timelines. he's not even really sure why he's saying it now, other than simple pleasure of telling jack things and being known by him a little better because of it.] Drive off the governor's fleet, then put Nassau behind us for good. All that shit I put him through, all the years in between, but he just... dismissed it. Like it didn't fucking matter.
[ Or he wouldn't have been hanged in Nassau. It's starting to take shape, the time in between what he remembers and what Anne does, the exact things Jack has worked hard to convince himself he doesn't need to worry about, that he can't worry about, lest he drown himself in what-ifs that he can't even remember.
But coming from Charles, freely given instead of wrenched from his brain, he doesn't mind. He's not like Jack, he doesn't waste time talking about things that don't matter. It's important to him, then, and since it is, Jack wants to know. ]
He was like a father to you, wasn't he? [ Not a real question. He knows. ] Get close enough to someone, you'll forgive them anything. No matter how much time's separated you, I'd hope.
[ Not that he would know. Longest he's ever been separated from Anne is the month she fell into that coma here. Longest he's been separated from Charles is the months he was just gone, and here he is, pressed naked against his side. ]
[not until it happened to him, with teach, and in him, with jack. twice that one of them should, by all rights and every example, have killed the other and written off his very existence. instead they deliberately chose otherwise, and after enough time had passed it was like it never happened at all.
at least, that's how he remembers it. jack was winked to duplicity at a time when that bridge was still mending.
but, in any case. he doesn't need to tell jack that he's right. they both know it. instead he turns over again, this time onto his front so he can crawl up the other man's body and kiss him, deepening it, sliding a hand firmly around the back of his neck. when he speaks again it's just a murmur against his mouth, thumb running gently down the center of jack's throat.]
[ Last he saw of Charles back in Nassau, their truce was uneasy, still strained, to put it mildly, from the Hammund affair, an event that proves his point twice over. He had to forgive Anne for it, Charles had to forgive him. It happened in that span of time between them, clearly. Jack wonders what that looks like, what happened to bring them back together, but the kiss is all the answer he needs. Jack lets him in without a hint of fight in him, inviting it, running his hand through his hair to keep him close.
If he felt this way the whole time, he'd forgive Jack anything. ]
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he takes one more pull, and then offers jack the cigarette.]
Can't seem to recall it well enough - [jack's retelling, that is] - was he on the ship with you?
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He wasn't. By the time we set sail, it was good and over between us.
[ He doesn't remember because Jack hadn't mentioned anyone, but Anne, John, and Carver. It sounds suspiciously like he's fishing for something, but he doesn't call it out. He's happy to tell him whatever he wants to know about the time he lost.
Jack takes the last drag, and stubs it out in an ashtray on the bedside table that's seen some use. Hickey was a smoker, at least. ]
Offered him a spot. Any experience at all was welcome, half the crew had never been at sea before at all. But, he was never an enthusiastic sailor to begin with.
[ And even in a professional capacity, he doubts Hickey had any interest in seeing he and John together. ]
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plus, his hands are free. now he can run his fingers slowly across the shape of different marks, here and there, some already going purple. admiring his work, as it were.]
Who else was with you?
[slightly more of a practical question this time; if he happens to encounter them about the city, he'd like to be aware of it.]
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[ She was the first person here who he deemed worth straying from Anne for, and the last time he saw her, they were washed up on the beach. He tries to answer the question instead of thinking too hard. ]
That he-witch, his name's Nate Hawthorne. Think you'd like him. He brought some of his colleagues along. Chris Sonom, a magic healer. A kid named Parker we almost lost, washed up on the beach a week after the rest of us.
[ He sits up, suddenly, on his elbows, grinning like he's holding back laughter. ]
Oh, you'll love this. There was some absolute jester walking around declaring himself Edward Teach. He fucking wasn't, most elaborate baffoonery I've ever seen, though.
[ It had prompted a brief existential crisis, at the time, but now, he can laugh at it. ]
He was insistent, too. And said he and I had at one point been lovers. Man was disturbed.
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then jack mentions teach. vane receives the information at first with a look torn between amusement and scorn - but the idea of a world in which jack rackham and edward teach were lovers makes him laugh outright, enough to leave his shoulders shaking when he tries to rein it in. holy shit.]
The fucking balls on that idea - [incredible. he shifts a little, pushing himself up over jack's stomach just so he can roll sideways and settle his head back on the other pirate like a pillow.] He still here?
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Not just that, but didn't know who Anne was. Barely knew you. Making shit up as he went along, I think, but he had people going.
[ Of course, it was all deeply disturbing to hear, but now that he's fucked off, Jack can postpone that crisis for another time. ]
Nah, he's gone. You'd have killed him on sight, probably. Worst imposter I've ever seen.
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He'd have been... disgusted. Killed the bastard himself.
[their teach, that is. the one who never understood what charles vane saw in jack rackham; the man who called him a lion long before daphne chose it as a pet name. but thinking about him now is an inevitable reminder of regret. his amusement fades, until he's quiet again.
that might have been it. he could have stayed silent, gone moody, or put it out of his mind altogether. or... he could tell jack about it. seems equally inevitable that he would, sooner or later, if a reason to do so happened to come up between them. but he's here, and jack's here, and he's thinking about it. so... why overthink it?]
Not sure he'd be partial to me either, anymore.
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Just like him, of course, to have exactly what he wants, a reputation that will last centuries, and find a way to be dissatisfied. ]
What makes you say that? Lying in bed with me?
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Hadn't even considered that part, to be honest.
[it wouldn't stop him, either way. though he took teach's advice more seriously than anyone else's before jack came along, in the end he always made his own choices. for better or worse. he shakes his head a little against jack's hip.]
I betrayed him again. [just a murmur. matter-of-fact, if not for the softness of it, betraying regret.] In front of his men, and Flint's. If he'd have shot me dead on the spot, I wouldn't have blamed him - but I knew he wouldn't.
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He'll forgive you. After you're gone, he'll come back to fight them with Anne and I.
[ Jack can't give him any more detail than that, besides the gruesome way that Teach met his end because of it. He bites his tongue on that, too. ]
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forgiveness means nothing, realistically, to a dead man. but he's not a dead man here - not in any way that matters, even though there's no going back, he and teach will never see each other again. he's alive enough to be experiencing this moment, and in this moment, it's nice to hear it. soothes something to a dull ache instead of a sharp one.]
He wanted me to leave with him. [it feels weird to tell jack as much, stepping across the uneven ground between their timelines. he's not even really sure why he's saying it now, other than simple pleasure of telling jack things and being known by him a little better because of it.] Drive off the governor's fleet, then put Nassau behind us for good. All that shit I put him through, all the years in between, but he just... dismissed it. Like it didn't fucking matter.
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[ Or he wouldn't have been hanged in Nassau. It's starting to take shape, the time in between what he remembers and what Anne does, the exact things Jack has worked hard to convince himself he doesn't need to worry about, that he can't worry about, lest he drown himself in what-ifs that he can't even remember.
But coming from Charles, freely given instead of wrenched from his brain, he doesn't mind. He's not like Jack, he doesn't waste time talking about things that don't matter. It's important to him, then, and since it is, Jack wants to know. ]
He was like a father to you, wasn't he? [ Not a real question. He knows. ] Get close enough to someone, you'll forgive them anything. No matter how much time's separated you, I'd hope.
[ Not that he would know. Longest he's ever been separated from Anne is the month she fell into that coma here. Longest he's been separated from Charles is the months he was just gone, and here he is, pressed naked against his side. ]
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[not until it happened to him, with teach, and in him, with jack. twice that one of them should, by all rights and every example, have killed the other and written off his very existence. instead they deliberately chose otherwise, and after enough time had passed it was like it never happened at all.
at least, that's how he remembers it. jack was winked to duplicity at a time when that bridge was still mending.
but, in any case. he doesn't need to tell jack that he's right. they both know it. instead he turns over again, this time onto his front so he can crawl up the other man's body and kiss him, deepening it, sliding a hand firmly around the back of his neck. when he speaks again it's just a murmur against his mouth, thumb running gently down the center of jack's throat.]
Funny how things work out.
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If he felt this way the whole time, he'd forgive Jack anything. ]