[maybe that will change someday; she's more inclined to share herself than he is, and someday she may find someone worth elevating above him, but if he was worried about that, he wouldn't be having this conversation. and those sort of what-ifs aren't useful anyway. why would he fuck up a good thing now on the low chance of an uncertain future?]
Daphne. You're my priority as well. If we're not equals in this, we're in for another ugly end. But I'm confident that's not what either of us want.
[There is a flush of pleasant, perfect warmth in that.]
Then thereās one more thing.
Iām not giving up my contract with you. To Jack. To anyone. If they make me choose one submissive, it will be you. Billy will hate me for it, and it would be worth it. Maybe. Maybe I donāt love him anymore, and maybe that makes me unforgivable.
[frankly, he's tried to put their contract as far from his mind as possible and has been mostly successful, so that it truly feels like an afterthought of existing in this place now. he's not going to drive home the inferiority the city wants him to feel by trading owners back and forth like he's a fucking rental.]
Jack hasn't brought up the contract since the first day I came back. And I've got no intention of living in another man's shadow.
[had plenty of that in the past, and he never handled it well at all.]
As for Billy... that's between the two of you. But if he wants something from you that you aren't willing to give him, he deserves to know it.
[it's that offer that makes him go quiet, though he's not strictly opposed; the logic is airtight from his perspective, since he'd much rather never have to think about this again. but he has very little experience with permanent. usually assuming that something will always be as it is brings about its undoing faster than leaving it alone. he balks at the idea of giving in, not to her but to duplicity, acknowledging the city's laws even more than he already has done for the sake of... something permanent.
plus, if it looks like a marriage and quacks like a marriage and everyone treats it like a marriage...]
[She doesnāt see it that way - but then sheās on the side that allows more than one contract so.]
We can keep signing every three months. I can make it painless.
But you know Iām not a woman who does things sheās not sure of.
[Plus: she will admit that not having to wonder if every three months Jack is going to court death by convincing Charles to leave her will take a load off.]
[that makes him smile to himself on his side of the phone.]
Right. Fuck was I thinking.
[a fair question to ask himself at the moment. vane trusts daphne, and he trusts his own instincts, most of the time. but he's never been very good at considering the ripple effects of the drastic measures that he takes. at the risk of offending daphne, let this be a choice that he takes seriously, even if that just means letting it sit in his brain until something crystallizes.]
I'm gonna consider it. It's not about what I'd give to you. It's about what I want the city to have from me.
You can include Jack on the list of approved trespassers [currently exclusive to her] for the cabin. I don't imagine he'll make use of the privilege, but if he has a reason to and can't, neither one of us will ever hear the end of it.
No. [wait.] Anne, I suppose. [forgot that not everyone thinks of her as coterminous with jack.] But that's it. Anyone else shows up for no reason, feel free to eat them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[maybe that will change someday; she's more inclined to share herself than he is, and someday she may find someone worth elevating above him, but if he was worried about that, he wouldn't be having this conversation. and those sort of what-ifs aren't useful anyway. why would he fuck up a good thing now on the low chance of an uncertain future?]
Daphne. You're my priority as well. If we're not equals in this, we're in for another ugly end. But I'm confident that's not what either of us want.
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Then thereās one more thing.
Iām not giving up my contract with you. To Jack. To anyone. If they make me choose one submissive, it will be you. Billy will hate me for it, and it would be worth it. Maybe. Maybe I donāt love him anymore, and maybe that makes me unforgivable.
So if Jack asks you, know that much.
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Jack hasn't brought up the contract since the first day I came back. And I've got no intention of living in another man's shadow.
[had plenty of that in the past, and he never handled it well at all.]
As for Billy... that's between the two of you. But if he wants something from you that you aren't willing to give him, he deserves to know it.
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I want to make it permanent.
Then neither of us have to think about it. Itās not a part of our lives anymore than it has to be.
[She wonāt address what sheās going to do with Billy Bones, or what sheās going to tell him.]
You know I think of you as my equal. The only man who is.
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plus, if it looks like a marriage and quacks like a marriage and everyone treats it like a marriage...]
You sure about that?
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We can keep signing every three months. I can make it painless.
But you know Iām not a woman who does things sheās not sure of.
[Plus: she will admit that not having to wonder if every three months Jack is going to court death by convincing Charles to leave her will take a load off.]
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Right. Fuck was I thinking.
[a fair question to ask himself at the moment. vane trusts daphne, and he trusts his own instincts, most of the time. but he's never been very good at considering the ripple effects of the drastic measures that he takes. at the risk of offending daphne, let this be a choice that he takes seriously, even if that just means letting it sit in his brain until something crystallizes.]
I'm gonna consider it. It's not about what I'd give to you. It's about what I want the city to have from me.
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Yeah, of course. It's not as though there's a rush.
[She's not going anywhere.]
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[She's secure in that.]
I don't think there's much that you can do to scare me off.
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It's a joke.
What exactly do you want me to change?
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I'll add him. Anyone else?
[It's his place; she doesn't mind whoever he wants to be able to go over.]
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[he knows she won't. but if she feels like it.]
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Maybe Iāll just kill then and string their bodies up as a warning. That feels fair.